The Dash

My wife and I used to watch the old ABC TV show ‘The Middle”. It was the story of a middle-class Indiana family with three quirky kids. In some ways, it could have been the story of my wife’s family, a middle-class Indiana family with three kids.

One of my favorite episodes was when the dad, Mike, had to do a eulogy for his father. Of course, he kept procrastinating and was continually nagged by his wife, Frankie, to get it done. When it finally was time to speak, the always soft-spoken Mike delivered a fantastic story about his father’s life.

The point of his story regards the tombstone. On the marker, it always mentions the date of birth and death, which we separate by a dash. The dash is the most essential part of that stone because the dash symbolizes everything in between. It encompasses every bit of their life.

Yesterday would have been my father-in-law Thom Brown’s 83rd birthday. But instead of celebrating his birth, today we’re in Indiana celebrating the dash. He passed away on August 19th. We all have mixed feelings about his passing. Shortly after the death of my mother-in-law Nancy back in 2019, Thom was officially diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease. We believe he’d been suffering for a few years, but Nancy never wanted to burden us with worrying about his health. Doctors were late in their diagnosis because he never exhibited the tremors most Parkinson’s sufferers show as the first symptom.

With the passing of his wife, the Parkinson’s diagnosis, and the COVID-19 shutdown, Thom quickly became a shell of the man we once knew. But there is so much more to ‘the dash.’ Thom was a career radio broadcaster. Early in his career, he worked for the legendary Group W (Westinghouse Broadcasting), which included time at a few well-known stations, including WOWO, Ft Wayne, WIND, Chicago, and two stints at the iconic KDKA in Pittsburgh. But after just a few years of moving up within the company, Thom gave up running the company fast track. He opted to move home to Northern Indiana to manage radio stations in his hometown of Rensselaer and then in nearby Lafayette, where he spent over two decades working at radio stations including WAZY, WEZV, WGLM, WKOA, and WASK.

While radio was essential to Thom’s life, it was a distant second to family. For Thom, the family was everything! Unlike most radio people (myself included) who are very extroverted, Thom was extremely quiet and reserved and relished his family time. He lived for the holidays, especially Christmas, and was always the taste tester for the Thanksgiving dressing. He loved his bacon extra crispy and never turned down an ice-cold beer.

For all of us, that dash between October 13, 1940, and August 19, 2023, represents a well-lived life. Godspeed, Thom Brown. We’ll take it from here…

Music:
David Fesliyan “Goodbye, My Friend”
Music used from https://www.fesliyanstudios.com

Video

365 Days

One year ago our world changed. It’s been 365 days since we received the news that my mother-in-law, Nancy had unexpectedly passed away. It started just like any other Friday. But as my wife was literally walking through the door coming home from work, we learned that the paramedics couldn’t revive my mother-in-law. She was gone.

Nancy had come home from school where she was a paraprofessional just like every other weekday. She chatted briefly with my father-in-law and then went into the bedroom to change clothes. She never came back out. By the time Thom went in to see what she was doing it was already too late. She had a massive heart attack and was gone in an instant.

My wife and I threw some clothes into our suitcases and hit the road. It was one of the longest trips back to Indiana we’ve ever experienced. At least it felt that way. The next few weeks were truly a blur. For my wife, her brother, and her sister that blur has lasted much longer. There were so many details that needed to be handled.

I helped when and where I could, but there were so many things that my wife, her brother and sister had to do wanted to do themselves. But there was one thing that they asked of me; Put together the video/slideshow that would play at the visitation and memorial service. I grabbed my laptop and started scanning pictures. Roughly 24 hours later the video was complete. Thanks to modern technology I didn’t even need to burn it to a DVD. I simply posted it on my YouTube channel and then connected my laptop to a TV. Thanks to the convenience of a wi-fi I simply hit repeat and let it roll.

There truly is no way to compress 73 year of life into a few pictures, but I tried. As I’ve now said way too many times; Make sure that you hug those who are precious to you, often. And never forget to say ‘I love you’. You never know when it might be the last time…

Music:
David Fesliyan “All Shall End”
free background music from https://www.fesliyanstudios.com

Image

Family Traditions

Every family has its holiday traditions. It’s part of what makes the season so special.  In my wife’s family, one of their traditions is the dressing that goes along with the turkey on Thanksgiving.  Now some people prefer to cook their dressing inside the cavity of the bird, but at that point, I guess it technically becomes stuffing.

The recipe for this special Thanksgiving side dish has been passed down from generation to generation.  As you can see from the well-worn recipe card below, this dish is officially called ‘Mothers Dressing’.  The mother in the title is technically my wife’s maternal grandmother Marilyn.  This was the dressing she served and passed down to my wife’s mother Nancy many years ago.

This year, the making of Mothers Dressing will be handled by my wife, Susan, and my sister-in-law, Alisan. It’s the one job they never wanted at Thanksgiving. And that’s not because they don’t love this dressing. The making of the dressing was always handled by their mother who we lost unexpectedly back in May.

This year, it looks like Mothers Dressing will take on a whole new meaning for the family. It will be tough giving thanks this year, but at least we still have each other and some wonderful memories.

This one’s for you, Nancy…

 

Mother’s Dressing

12 cups cubed bread (dried)
Melt 1 cup butter in a skillet
Brown 3/4 cup chopped onion and 1 1/2 cups chopped celery
2 teaspoons of salt
1 egg beaten
1 teaspoon pepper
1 tablespoon sugar
Add poultry seasoning to taste

To moisten the dressing, add broth or water as needed

Use regular white bread, purchase bread a few days in advance, and leave out to dry

(Makes 3 quarts for a 12 lb turkey)